Jilted

Someone sees you. Just wait.

Dear Jilted Lover,

You are beautiful, because you are. A masterpiece touched, molded, pressed, and smoothed by the Potter’s bare hands. Don’t allow the world’s opinion of you dictate your worth. And don’t let that person’s rejection define you. Everybody has reasons for not accepting someone and just because they couldn’t see the gem that you are, it doesn’t mean that you are not.

I wish you could see yourself from the eyes of those who care about you. Hair that begs to be tousled, a heart-melting smile, a strong hand that makes one feel safe, and a voice like waves kissing the shore. Just because someone is not attracted to you doesn’t mean you’re inadequate. All it means is you are reserved for another.

Standards for what’s pleasing to the eyes, the mind, and the heart vary. Attraction is complicated. Remember not to seek it from someone whose face doesn’t light up when they see you. Sure, they’re probably looking for something specific, something else, something you may not have. But so what? What you have is more than enough.

You are enough.

Allow yourself the pleasure of being who you are, unencumbered by society’s expectations and standards of how a man should look. Happiness is not measured by the amount of admirers gawking at your Instagram posts. Don’t beg for validation from people because everyone is flawed and yearn for the same thing. 

I pray that you would never sell yourself short, never settle. For some, first love is IT; for others it’s the second, the third, or fourth. There is no formula to finding a “happily ever after”. But I wish you a love that stays and lingers; through the storms, the distance, the differences. Anything is possible! Take hope in that. There is no clock winding down in the background, no scorecard keeping a tally, no one set of norms. So don’t fret. Instead, guard your heart against false starts and remember that the endgame is not the same for everyone.

—From a Friend Who Cares